Camping & Survival

What Kind of Survival Mom Are You?

Lisa Bedford, aka The Survival Mom, is a preparedness-minded writer, blogger, trainer, and mom who encourages other women to adopt a calm and common-sense approach to an uncertain future. In her Survival Mom the Book, she asks an important tongue-in-cheek question that Cheaper Than Dirt! women may want to tackle: What Kind of Survival Mom Are You? Or, for spouses, What Kind of Survival Mom Is She? Commenters, have at it.

— Cheaper Than Dirt! Chronicle Staff

What Kind of Survival Mom Are You? 1. Wandering down Main Street in Disneyland, you find yourself thinking: a) The castle is so pretty. I think I’m going to cry! b) We’ve got sunblock, water bottles, and a packed lunch. We’re going to have a great day. c) I wonder which kid is going to hit the wall first. d) Who is that duck approaching my kid, and WHERE ARE HIS PANTS??? e) I wouldn’t be caught dead at Disneyland. It’s a prime terrorist target.

2. When the electricity goes out, the first thing you do is: a) Call your husband. b) Scramble through drawers looking for flashlights and batteries. c) Calm the kids, grab your Power’s Out Emergency Kit, and begin following the directions on a laminated checklist. d) Shut the blinds; fill the bathtubs with water; lock and load. e) Head for the bunker. That EMP you’ve been expecting may have just happened.

3. You notice that your local Walmart is offering an “Introduction to Handguns” class for women. You immediately think: a) What is this world coming to? Someone is going to get an eye shot out. b) I should maybe, probably, learn how to shoot a gun someday. c) That’s a class I need to take. d) I’m glad they finally got my class scheduled. I wonder how many students I’ll have this time around. e) I’d sign up in a heartbeat if it were “Tactical Urban Sniper Training.” 4. Your idea of food storage is: a) An extra box of Fruit Loops in the cupboard. b) Something only Mormons do. c) Having at least a month’s worth of extra food stashed away. You never know when might come in handy. d) Buckets and barrels, filled with only God knows what because you forgot to label them back in Y2K. e) Loading up the bunker with beans, bullets, and Band-Aids.

5. Online, you’re known as: a) CuddleBunny209 b) Momof2CuteKids c) OneSmartMama d) WarriorWoman4God e) LiveFreeOrDie8720 6. You wish your parents had named you: a) After your grandmother b) Hillary c) Something that sounds more presidential d) Sarah Connor e) Anything gender neutral How to Score Your Responses: Mostly a’s: It’s time to put on some big-girl panties and take off the rose-colored glasses if you’re going to be a Survival Mom. Mostly b’s: Your Survival Mom DNA is starting to show! Mostly c’s: You sound like a sane Survival Mom to me, but then, those would have been my answers, too. Mostly d’s: Are you off your meds again? Seriously. Chill out and listen to some Barry Manilow. Mostly e’s: People think you’re crazy, but it’s all part of the plan. Like this article? CLICK HERE to get stories like this and others every other week in your e-mail inbox.

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