This here’s another chapter in the Zombie Book by your pal Duke. I’ve been documenting this here Zombie Apocalypse for almost four months now, and I can tell you one thing for sure—there ain’t no shelf life on those third pound Happy Burgers. I never liked pickles on ‘em to begin with, but I do miss sesame seed buns without mold. Happy Burger patties have become a real staple of Duke’s continued non-zombified existence!
Anyhow, this chapter is gonna be about ammo. I was scavenging a Gunz-A-Rific the other day and found a whole stash of Hornady Z-Max Ammo. The rifle bullets are the ballistic tip V-MAX design, but with green plastic inserts instead of the traditional red ones. Pistol bullets are Critical Defense with green plastic tips shoved in the hollowpoints. Laughs are pretty hard to come by these days, but when I saw the boxes I hooted and hollered like a 3 Stooges marathon was on. Back in the day, just for kicks, Hornady made a special run of this ammo in funny neon-green boxes with “Zombie 101” tips on the back, like “set up some trip lines around your yard” and stuff like that. The package is such a chuckle they actually had to put a warning on the box saying that this stuff is live ammo and it isn’t a toy. Well, let me tell ya somethin’, fellow survivors of the wasteland—Hornady Z-Max Ammo is definitely NOT a toy—it’s stone cold some of the best ammo I’ve ever fed to an undead horde.
Right now I’m rockin’ two pistols. Sometimes I get a bit excited and put one in each hand. Damn zombies on my left get ventilated from the Glock 19, and damn zombies on my right get ventilated from the Rock Island 1911. Well I don’t have to tell you, with a gun in each hand a misfire with bad ammo wrecks the whole plan. The Hornady stuff never misfires, and it shoots REAL straight. I used an AR-15 with a big scope to clear me a path from the roof of the Gunz-A-Rific to a Happy Burger down the street. For two nights and a day in between ‘em, I went through 500 rounds of .223 Zombie Max (all they had) and when it was all said and done I’d counted up 382 downed zombies. Some of the zombies I’d popped from 300 yards away! But I have to admit, they seem slower than before. It wasn’t as much of a challenge to lead ‘em, I don’t know if its because the weather is colder or if they’re just running out of energy or what.
Anyhow, the Z-MAX bullet is a hollow point with a plastic tip that gets forced through the middle of the bullet when it hits a zombie noggin. Every shuffling, lurching son-of-a-buck that got hit with one went down immediately because the bullets expand every time. Now I’ve shot plenty of ammo of every kind, and even full metal jacket gets the job done most of the time, sure. But high quality expanding ammo means a one-shot stop for certain. That means I conserve ammo, and I can move from one moaning, drooling target to the next with speed and confidence, son! Add that to the accuracy of these rounds and, well heck, who am I kidding? There’s something satisfying about using the right tool for the job, and the job is zombie hunting. Z-Max ammo just feels right to old Duke… like a heaping pile of hot Happy Burger patties cooked over a furniture bonfire as the sun slowly sets over the wasteland.
Till next time, remember: fresh water, fresh batteries, candy bars, and a positive attitude will help you survive. I hope to see more of you, my fellow survivors, someday soon. Duke never charges for an autograph!