Blades and Knives

Horror Movie Weapons

A woodland sunset with the spooky evil glowing eyes of Jack O' Lanterns on the left of a wooden bench on halloween night.

Splatter flicks have always had an underground following. Despite what film critics say, people love to watch blood and gore. It was as early as 1916 when horror movies exploited mutilations, as in the film Intolerance that showed two decapitations and a slow death by spear. George Romero’s 1968 zombie movie, Night of the Living Dead gained wide spread popularity and has become a cult classic. Modern day splatter flicks just get gorier and gorier, and more and more popular. The original Saw, a film devoted to torture, grossed over $100 million dollars worldwide. It takes a pretty sick mind to come up with those scenarios in the Saw franchise, so I would much rather focus on the classic slash ‘em up horror movies. In horror of Halloween, I have picked some rather “infamous” items— a tribute to horror movie weapons. Enjoy!

“You made a goddamn vampire Pomeranian?” (Blade: Trinity- Hannibal King)

Ah, vampires. God love ‘em. I love ‘em. True confession here: I like vampires more than zombies. Hey! Zombies don’t have any personality and well… they’re gross. More true confessions: I own every single episode of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, own all the Twilight books and movies, read (past tense) Anne Rice religiously (ha, ha. Get it? If you don’t, then move right along. It wasn’t funny anyway), and have read all the Sookie Stackhouse books. (I don’t have HBO, so I only have seen seasons one and two of True Blood.) You get the idea. Rolling your eyes? Cut me some slack, I’m a girl! Anyway, we all know how to kill a vampire; you gotta stake it through its heart. Then to be sure, cut off its head and to be double-double sure, set the whole damn thing on fire. Keep your holy water in a flask and get this Hornady wooden storage box to cut up into stakes. Then go on a vampire-slayin’ rampage!

“…They call this place Camp Blood” (Friday the 13th- Ned)

Jason Voorhees—one of the first un-killable killers—is he dead, is he alive? Is he a zombie? What is he exactly? We know he’s been in space, and, he catches up to fit 18 years olds without running, and he kicked Freddy Krueger’s ass. I think we can safely conclude that Jason Voorhees is da man! Friday the 13th taught me all the horror movie rules: don’t take a shower, don’t get out of the shower when you hear a noise, don’t go make out with a fellow camp counselor, don’t ever take off your top when you hear a noise, don’t ever go investigate a noise, don’t get in the lake, etc., etc. Jason‘s primary weapon is the machete. Jason has been in 12 movies, slaughtering immoral teenagers for 29 years, and has 146 confirmed kills. In 1992, Jason won an MTV Lifetime Achievement Award. Shop for machetes here.

“But you can’t kill the boogie man” (Halloween—Tommy Doyle)

The butcher knife shows up in a ton of scary movies. Michael Myers (Halloween series) likes to use a butcher knife. Ghost Face (Scream series) uses a butcher knife. If the killer in the movie isn’t using a butcher knife, then the victim always seems to get a hold of one. I watched Scream 4 last night, and Sydney Prescott goes for the butcher knife in the kitchen. Aren’t the killers’ victims always known to grab the butcher knife when they hear a noise? And why is it that the butcher knife always slips out of their hand? Where are these people’s guns?! Don’t you just love the noises butcher knives make when they pulled out of the butcher block? As hard as I’ve tried, I just can’t replicate that noise at home. Who can forget the most famous butcher knife scene in history? The Psycho shower scene. Shop butcher knives here.

We use the term “axe murder” to define a raging, murderous lunatic with a weapon not necessarily needing to be an axe, but the axe as a murder weapon is a favorite in horror movies. Even Jason ditches his machete for an axe in Friday the 13th Part VII. The extremely disturbing Patrick Bateman uses in an axe in American Psycho. The axe is also a favorite for zombie killers. Shop for axes here.

I have to give a shout out to the chainsaw. We just don’t sell one. It would be my number one horror movie weapon of choice. Leatherface. Holla!

What is your favorite melee weapon for fighting the undead? Tell us what horror movie is your favorite and why in the comment section.

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